Mar 21, 2010
What a weekend!
Mar 17, 2010
I love my Target, I hate my Target.
Target had its big semi-annual meeting yesterday and I was among the 300 or so “honored guests.” Really, I was part of a project team that got noticed by the upper management so I got to tag along to the meeting. Normally people on the bottom rung of the company don’t get to go. It’s a pretty big deal. They brought in some big names for the entertainment and a couple of other celebrities just say a few words. 3 cheers for big money and contracts!
But the sad thing is I’ve been to meetings like this before and it does the same thing to my every time. The purpose of the meeting is to recap the past performance of our company, look ahead and see when we have planned for the future, and a whole bunch of rah-rah-rah. This is where they get me. They do such a good job of building up the brand that I start to believe that I too can be one of these people. That I’m a mover and shaker that’s just stuck in a grunts body. I leave with this sadness that I will never be what I truly want to be. I want to be able to walk down a store isle and tell somebody that “I made that happen.” Or when I tell my parents about the new rewards program the pharmacy has I can say, I did that. But that will never, ever happen. And I know why. I don’t have a piece of paper that says I’m qualified when in most accounts, I can do the job just as good and anybody else. You can’t put life experiences down on paper. And that’s happened to me. No more than six months ago I was looking at this job, but the HR rep said even though I know you can do the job, you don’t have a two-year degree. I mean I do, I have two even. Just not the right two. I guess it’s not fair to the people who did go to school; but this is MY blog and I don’t have to take that into consideration.
Just like every other meeting, the feeling goes away and I’m back to being happy doing whatever I have to do to get a paycheck. Quicker than usual this time. Maybe because I’m back on the project team for round two and I really like what I’m doing. Even though this will never been seen by anybody outside of Target, it’s fun.
In some weird way this has really started to motivate me and my DJ’ing. With that, I control the message, the output. I can take what I do, and tell people that I did that. Even though most people still don’t fully understand what I’m doing yet.
Mar 6, 2010
For my Grandma
With all said and done, I will always be so proud of you. You have made me the person I am today. I will miss you my love. Until we meet again. Love, Peggy Jean.
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This was the obituary and one of many comments left on online version of our major newspaper. The comment is from my mother, but could easily be from me, since it is very true for myself too. I have since left my own. http://bit.ly/dri3yp
For me it started on February 17. I was in a meeting at work when I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. Thinking it was just my wife calling on her break or something I didn't think much of it. Turns out it was a text from her telling me to call my mom A.S.A.P. Not sure why she called my wife to get me, she has my number. I called my mom and she tells me that Grandma is in the hospital. That right there isn't anything too alarming, she's 81 years old and isn't a stranger to the place. But then she told me that the doctors are giving her a week or two to live. I was o.k. with that, I thought. About ten minutes after I hung up it hit me. I'm going to be losing my grandmother soon. I thought I could keep it together but I just broke down right there at work. I was able to find a quite place to hang out and let the tears run wild.
After that I was able to keep it together. I keep in daily contact with my mom, getting updates on Grandma, and Grandpa too. It was just a few days later that it was decided that he needed to be placed in a nursing home. Not long after that Grandma was moved into hospice care.
On February 27th or 28th my mom told me that it won't be long and asked if I wanted to be called when the hospice people knew she only had a very short time left. I said no, just let me know when she has passed in the morning. Well, nobody got that call, she went too fast.
She passed away on Tuesday, March 2nd at 8:25a. I got the email at work from my brother. I took it better than I though. Mostly because I was ready for it. I still choked up a bit, but was able to continue on with my work day. I took the rest of the week off so I could ready myself for the memorial service and funeral.
Her funeral was yesterday, March 5th. It was a nice service. Her son Mike (my uncle) did most of the talking. Well him, and the pastor. I learned things about Grandma that I never knew. I did my best to keep the tears away because I knew if I let one slip, I wouldn't be able to stop. So when the sadness crept in I started to sing songs in my head. But when I saw the casket being rolled away, and my brother leave with the other pallbearers is when I knew it was really over. I had a wet face from that time until I made it outside. I was happy to see a full church. I was in the front row so I hadn't realized just how many people had come.
I'm still not sure how much Grandpa knows. He kind of slips in and out. As my mom said; "He may know that Grandma passed away today,but not tomorrow." I still can't get a good read on my mother. She spent most of the day helping with Grandpa. I spoke to her last night and she told me it really hasn't sunk in yet. This must be so hard for her. I can't imagine what I'm going to be like when she goes. But it's o.k. We made a deal that she's never going to die so I'm safe from that.
I have had my chance to cry. The left eye for happiness, the right eye for sorrow. I'm glad that she's no longer in pain. She has been battling various illnesses ever since I can remember, but she never let that stop her from doing anything she put her mind too. I will greatly miss the great times I shared with her. From camping and canoeing with her, my mom and brother to all the Christmas's we had. I will remember all the cookies she pulled from behind my ear (cute magic trick she knew) and the wonderful goodies she would prepare for the holidays.
Saying goodbye is so fucking hard, but I don't regret not visiting her in her last days. I needed a healthy last image to remember, not sick, hospital Grandma. I spent a little time with her this last Christmas. She was in pants! I think I've only seen that once before as she lived most of her time in a dress. I wish I could have stayed longer but I had a wife stricken with H1N1 I wanted to tend too. Because really, you never think your last visit will be your last visit.
I'm still deeply sad, but I'm looking forward to getting back to work. I need normalcy to kick in. My wife H has been great. I know she's sad too, but she's doing a great job trying to keep my spirits up.
Feb 9, 2010
formspring.me
You just commissioned your very own personalized hot air balloon. What does it look like?
Two of the tall vertical panels will be peach color so it looks like a giant ass mooning everybody as I fly by. The rest of it will be a red brick pattern so it looks like the ass has busted through, just to get you to look at it.
Feb 5, 2010
formspring.me
Oreo, Chip A-hoy, or those sandwich cookies with the smiley faces cut out from back in the day?
Oh what I wouldn't do for a smiley face cookie again. But with today's current cookie, I'd have to say Oreo's. I like the option to eat the cookie and cream all together, or each part on it's own.
Feb 4, 2010
formspring.me
Do you agree or disagree with Dwight's decision to cut the face off the CPR dummy and wear it?
In all honesty, I do agree with it. Dwight had a curiosity about wearing a mans face as Hannibal Lecter did. No better way than with a dummy's face, rather than a real humans. I say go for it!
Feb 3, 2010
formspring.me
How do you kill zombies?
How do I kill zombies? Or how does one in kill zombies in general? From what I know, you take off their head. Right? I don't think I could kill a zombie. I don't like weapons too much, so I think my method would be to find a big Ving Rhames type a fella and let him do all the dirty work.
Would you rather be a 16-wheeler or a telephone switch?
I'm not sure what a phone switch is. As in the button you press when you hang the phone up? I'd like to be a 16-wheeler for the travel and mobility. But being a phone switch would satisfy my fly-on-the-wall curiosity. So...um...phone switch is my answer.
Feb 1, 2010
formspring.me
If you had a couple of lemon-sized tomors growing off of each cheek, would you try to cover them up with mutton chop sideburns, or just let them hang out loud and proud? Or what?
I would paint them yellow and try to sell myself as a walking advertisement for Lemon Head candies.
formspring.me
WTF is that on the face in your avatar? If indeed that's your face. On second thought, just explain it all...!
This was taken from a scene in The Office (US) where Dwight cuts off the face of a CPR dummy after showing the team how to harvest the organs. Always creeped me out, and now you too!
Water, Ice and a cup.
Jan 31, 2010
So You Think You Can DJ? – Track 4
4:00 beats near perfect opposite of eachother
6:30 near beat matching, but deck 2 is off but one full beat
10:21 deck 2 is off by almost two full beats.
Jan 26, 2010
Crazy 2012 is at it again.
Jan 25, 2010
The ladies on the bus.
Jan 21, 2010
So You Think You Can DJ? – Track 3
Jan 15, 2010
My tiny view on the Apple Tablet, and a nice timeline.
Jan 8, 2010
Crazy 2012
Dec 27, 2009
So You Think You Can DJ - Track 2
From Brother Dan I got two new sets of slip mats for my turntables. I was in desperate need of new ones because the current pair were leaving marks on my records. So once I got home I of course had to try them out. The new slip mats have less friction the my old ones so that’s going to take some getting used to. But with the great vinyl transfer of 09 I now have all my vinyl correctly coded with an accurate BMP. This is what I’ve been missing all this time. I was rocking records back and forth with the greatest of ease. My gosh I’ve never had this much fun with my turntables. I also started using the faders (volume levels) to mix the records and keep the cross fader at center. This helped me keep thing organized in the headphones. I only stopped because I had to walk the dog and go to bed. If this is a sign of times to come, I can’t wait for my SL3. Oh, and because of my mom and grandma, I’m $540 closer.
Dec 7, 2009
So You Think You Can DJ? – Track 1
The Past:
I’ve always been fascinated with DJ’s for as long as I can remember. Well, I guess it can be traced back to 1991 or so when I first heard some techno that really grabbed me. I was at favorite store; Junk Yard. It was like if Hot Topic was cool, and had crushed cars in the store and chain link fencing on the walls. They were playing The Lords of Acid’s - Voo-Doo U. It was a few years later that I bout my first Technique 1200 and a mixer. Not sure what I was mixing with just one turntable. Oh right, I had the plan to get a second one, which I did a little while later. Over the next few years I started building my record collection.
Unfortunately I’ve never had a good job; or real good access to a record shop so I have a pitiful collection. And I was never very smart about my music choices. I have about 5 records of each genre. Some drum-n-bass, hardcore, trance, acid trance, dance and some other just weird stuff. I tired mixing them together but just couldn’t get it together. I did manager to pull out one hour long mix that sounds pretty good for the first 20 minutes, then I start to loose it with the rest of the set. If you really want to hear it, let me know and I’ll up load it. Years past and I sort of lost touch with my equipment, only playing with the records when I got really board and wanted to frustrate myself.
The Now:
Thanks to the power of Facebook I was able to reconnect with an old friend of mine. And get this, he’s a DJ. And an even bigger get this, he credits me for getting him into techno back in the day; thus spawning his love for music and DJ’ing. Those were some good days too. Staying up late and listening to DJ JT on Rev.105 FM and Big Daddy Greg Comstock on 93X FM.
Anyway, I’ve been picking his brain about his work and have gone to a couple of his shows and now I’ve got the love again.
I have no clue how this slipped past me, but he, and a million other DJ’s are spinning mp3’s instead of real vinyl. This is so my thing. I have so many mp3’s that I’ve all ready got a good start. But not many of them are DJ mp3’s, with nice long intros and outros for mixing. So at this moment I’m starting to save money so I can start buy DJ mp3’s. And better yet, this will be current music. The last time I bought a record was about five years ago or so. By mid January I’ll have enough money to buy the hardware necessary to connect my laptop to my turntables.
The Future:
My goal is to really get myself into DJ’ing. This will be the easy part. The hard part will to book one show. That is my goal. In one year, I want to book one show. I know I’ll be the opening and playing for a room of about 10 people while the rest of the people trickle in waiting for the next DJ or the headliner to start. And that’s fine. This is my I-don’t-want-to-go-through-life-wishing-I-had-done-something resolution.
I’ll try to throw up updates as I gain my new music, equipment and any other “ground breaking” events I encounter.
Nov 25, 2009
From the easy grind to the boring.
So today is my last day with the Guest Data Security team at Target. I joined them on a temporary assignment back in March of 2009. It was hush hush type of work. But I can tell you I was working to keep you, the Target consumer and your data with us safe from the bad guys. It was a nice change of pace for me and the four other co-workers who joined me. We all came from Guest Relations and were used to a very strict schedule. All breaks are decided for you, you have to get your vacation time approved at least a week in advance and you’re tied to your desk when not on breaks because your job is to answer phone calls. With Guest Data Security it’s a very relaxed environment. Come and go as you please, break whenever. Need some vacation time? Just tell your boss and it’s done. Get the work done, and you’re free to be you. I’m happy that my first day back in Guest Relations will be next Monday. Meaning I miss out on working Black Friday, my first in six years.
While I was with the GDS team, my desk has been move in GR. I’m not happy about this. The people I’ll be sitting next to are nice, but they all feel that I care about their problems and that I’m their free tech support. I don’t mind helping, but it’s the same problem over and over again. And since I’m about 50 years ahead of them when it comes to using all the available benefits of a computer, they’ll be looking over my shoulder asking about the various tools I have and wanting me to explain how they work. I’ll have to keep my Twitter app secret because that’s not a conversation I want to get into. These are the type of people that buy a computer so they can forward email and play Solitaire. Sorry, didn’t mean to get on a rant about that, but it’s coming, I know it.
The work I do in GR isn’t hard, just boring. I’ve been at it for just over six years now so I’ve pretty much mastered all the skills I need to work the job in my sleep. Answer the phone, resolve the issue. Not hard stuff. Once and a while you get what I call “The Principles.” These are the people who will argue over $.50 (that really happened too). It’s not about the money, it’s the principle. Ugh, shoot me now.
I hear there’s a small, small change that I might be able to go back to GDS and finish up the work I was doing. I’m not going back to GR because I was done, but because it’s the holidays and GR needs everybody than can get to work. This will be an untrue statement, much like it has been in other years. When I first started this time of years was b-u-s-y and it was really fun. But as the department grew in size, and shoppers started spending less, the holiday season and just been a bore. They will be sending people home early and calls volume will be low.
On a nothing related note, I’m going with my brother to a big DJ bash tonight. 20 performers on three stages. Going to see my friend DJ Blaze One rock some dub step. I hope it’s dub step, a new genre that I’ve only heard about until recently when I saw him spin a few weeks back. Hot shit I tell ya.
Well, it’s near 8:00a and I guess I should get to it.
And crap crap blogger.com is acting a fool with craptastic IE6. I’m just going to email this post in a not give a damn about the formatting.





